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Post by Krillian Fredrica Van Lumireis on Jun 19, 2011 16:19:40 GMT -5
Name:Krillian Fredrica Van Lumireis ( Princess Lumireis ) Gender:Female Age:Originally 13 / Currently ? ? ? Height: 5'0 Weight:98 lbs Appearance: Likes:- Her father (who's long deceased....) - Authority and power (when she has it) - Great doses of Aer (she is addicted to it like a drug) - Attractive young swordsman... Dislikes:- The 'new world' - Weaklings using her kingdoms blastia (like... everyone) - Those who don't bow to her on demand - Attractive young girls.... ( Princess Lumireis isn't quite so young anymore ) Strengths:- Unreal ability with Aer: she possesses nearly every possible magic art - A dancing diva in battle: her weapon is a double edged staff,the top is adorned with a ruby heart with gold trim,while the bottom is bladed like a sword.She attacks with continous flowing movements that use both ends to maximum proficiency. - Intelligent and crafty: she is very manipulative,and enjoys watching her 'peons' suffer. Weaknesses:- Terrible Aer addict: she must consume magic of various types on a regular basis. Getting either hit with Aer arts or even injecting it,wirh a unique tool she possesses. - Horrible temper: can be enraged by the slightest things,the result is usually the death of the insulty. - Weak physical defense: while she is fast and brutal.She takes damage easily from physical attacks... when they land. Personality:Extremly haughty and aloof.She has great hate for most people of this era. Acts usually like a cliched snobby princess,but can be down right crazy when angry or in need of Aer. History: ? ? ? [prefer to reveal over time] Did you read the rules?Manly Pow Hammers? Disgusting...
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Post by Flynn//Gauche on Jul 8, 2011 11:03:47 GMT -5
First off, I owe you an apology. I don't know how this got moved to the "Accepted" section without a comment or anything. It might have gotten checked on accident. So for that I am sorry.
Moving onto the application...
While I realise this is a chat-based forum and we're not asking for novels, you do need to be a little more in-depth. If I'm correct, I believe the template asked for at least 200 words, and I noticed that yours is just short of being considered one paragraph. It would be much appreciated if you were to explain more.
As for your history, while mystery is always fun, you /do/ need to include it in your profile. We're not asking for every waking moment of her life, but you do need at least a broad overview. Just because a member reads your application does not mean that their character automatically knows everything that is written there. But it is required.
Now for your powers... While they are creative and do remind me of the canon-character Zagi to some extent, you have far too many of them and you are currently standing in the realms of Mary-Sue. I mean no offense, but knowing every arte, having advanced speed, ridiculous amounts of aer, and the other powers you've given her leave little room for weakness.
If you still check in, please consider the above notes and edit when you're able.
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